First, I have to catch my breath, I, just spent 35 minutes trying to get an answer from my more than paid for health insurance. So it seems, the prompts and responses were not timed, “I’m sorry I didn’t get that.”, was repeated 50 times. That is only a slight exaggeration. Toward the end of the call, I was yelling Help in order to get a person. Then it dawned on me, I am living in an apartment. What if the police show up? see that I am home alone, take me to a psyc.ward, and the hospital rejects me because I don’t have good coverage. Crazy...this is life without a flood, enormous loss, and money concerns. No wonder why everyone is so stressed out. Just as an aside,my stress management skills are improving.
My intention is first to express my enormous, gigantic, oceanic size gratitude to each and everyone of you. Loss and all forms of grief can be lonely. My current experience feels strange like a science fiction movie. Houston, a huge city, moves on quickly. Tragically now with a Texan church shooting. We are all on tragedy overload. So many prayers we need to say.
Back to my movie; for those people who were not directly affected by the flood, weather, sports, what’s for dinner are normal, daily conversations. I have no disdain for their words or their good fortune. It is just that at this point, I am an outsider. No one has rejected me, it is the absolutely opposite, I am surrounded by love and care, ( will get back to that later ).
This disconnect is event driven. My life has been redefined by, walls, floors, moisture, many personal and practical items that I no longer own, and cost. Us flood people, we know each other, we listen, we get it. The whole other part of the population can only see part of us. It is the same with serious illness, death even divorce or being a parent to a deeply troubled teenager. I have memorized paintings in the hallway of a hospital. It is no one’s fault, Life on life’s terms. The choice ; connection, love, spirituality or resentment. I will choose door number one.
My spirit becomes so very happy with each comment, thumbs up or emoji. I don’t feel like an alien. I feel seen and loved. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️
