These are crazy days. I awoke with no words, just the weight of a battle ship on my chest. My eyes held tears waiting for me to wake up. Grief...lI waits for all of us. During the past two years, our financial security eroded., my mother passed away, and my brother almost died. Perhaps this is the dark night of the soul, so I can bravely mourn away the blackness, close a most painful chapter and move into Spring. It is not easy, but I believe we must accept endings, before a brilliant new beginning. I trust that I will walk through this passage, sometimes like an athlete, other times tentative, like a baby step. The hardest part for me is to grieve while the world gears up and goes on. A very powerful poem for me is called Funeral Blues by Auden. Far more serious it is about a man who has lost his life partner. The sentiment resonates with me. Several of the lines are especially powerful;

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.

The last verse;
The stars are not wanted now, put out every one, pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.

Loss can leave us frozen, slowed down, hyper,no routine, out of sync. Sometimes, I am looking through a window. My tears can bring me back home to myself.

I am grateful for all of the love, compassion and generosity of spirit that abundantly surrounds me,,giving me the fortitude to be okay just as I am. Thank you for so much love that I can see through the darkness.