First of all, my most precious friend has had a successful surgery. She is at the beginning of her convalescence. Thank you for your prayers, love and light. My heart is filled with light and love. Thank you.
I have been resistant to writing, I have had some sad and angry moments that are hard to translate into words. It is my commitment to be honest and authentic. Sometimes, it feels just like this beautiful photo and at other times, I can’ see the light. I am working on acceptance of the loss, the hardship, the hope of a new beginning, and most of all acceptance of myself on this journey. It is my wish to give a voice to those on this path, and to express how very complicated the experience of grief can be. Don’t be sorry, everyone has a story, and a dark night of the soul. There is beauty and strength for which to be grateful.The closest we can be to each other is when we have the courage to share our pain. “My pain gets your pain”. It can be the cure for fear, loneliness and depression. Sharing joy is fabulous, connectedness in pain is life changing. It takes me from my suffering to hope and love that always prevails. It takes enormous strength to be vulnerable and it gives back more love and power to trudge through the mud.
Today I went to my spinning class. My dear friends Hillary and Brad asked me how I was doing. Kindness is my undoing. I started to really cry because this beautiful cooler
weather here in Houston opened up a window. I realized that my cooler weather clothes no longer exist. I have no shame that I really enjoy clothes, love my own way of style... my personal way of decoration. And....I never pay full price.It is a source of pride. I said it and this is fun. Now, I am so happy to be wearing the most awesome leather jacket that Erin gave me. It will always represent my very dear family relationship with Erin. A delightful part of my story. By the way, I purchased the most elegant coat from H&M.The only one like it in the store. ( big secret....it was on sale ). I am going to send a pic very soon. Please don’t know what you’ve got after it’s gone.
