This is a huge stone slab that can be used as a wall or part of a floor. It is filled with geodes. I imagined it filling a wall in my newly constructed house. I thought how fun to bring one piece of magnificence to contribute to my naturally evolving light filled home. A fantasy for sure, too much money and nothing natural about rebuilding a flood destroyed home. My creative inner kid is screaming, "I don't do rooms to go." I need time, I can't do it all at once. Post disaster building is not like remodeling or building. It starts with de-mucking,( a word created for cleaning the sludge left after awful bayou and reservoir water has been in your house for two weeks ). The inside of the house has to be destroyed, dehumidified, and the air has to be cleansed of mold spores. I know, my knowledge is Impressive. I didn't even go to school to study this post flood process. I actually could picture myself having a rich and full life with complete ignorance surrounding this topic. Well, that wasn't in the plan. Here I am....
OVERWHELMED, there are at least half a million kinds of floor tiles, wood, carpet, wall tiles, back splashes, washers, dryers, kitchen appliances, toilets, tubs, sinks and perhaps a new floor plan. Next you need to be the advanced student of finance. Decide what you want, and plug all of it into a newly created algorithm for the most economical, beautiful, well matched, perfectly measured not yet built space. The absolutely hardest part of all of this is: always keep in mind how to make your house desirable on the market. This topic is brought up by every builder, designer, vendor, real estate person.... I know this is meant well and the adult thing to do, but it kind of feels like making plans to donate your organs when you are alive and well. It is the right thing to do, but it feels like a whole lot of life has become invisible.
Now that I have successfully overwhelmed you and especially myself, what can a full fledged disaster girl like myself do ? Back to basics, one day, one hour, one minute, at a time. When spinning in circles, stop, take a breath and remember it is just a choice. I will be fine. I am just taking an advanced class in reducing any remnants of perfectionism or control fantasies. Ask for help. My sweet friend Erin is going to some showrooms with us tomorrow. She is an expert at design and real estate. She knows all about finding the best pricing. She is a great listener and extremely lovable.
Then there is my continued learning of a hugely important behavior. Don't abandon yourself by terrorizing yourself. No imagining worst case scenarios, financial ruin, it will take forever thoughts. Humor always, this is quite a fancy first world problem. Connection, love and friends are already getting me through. Orlando is doing a pretty amazing job as well.
