It has been a week since I have connected with my Facebook family. I have missed every single one of you. I know that I am in trouble when I start talking to my friends in my head. I don’t think that I have enough words to express my sincere gratitude for the interest, caring , love and support sent my way. I am only able to walk this rocky path with the tender hearts watching my back. The beauty that exists in the darkest of places.
This angel....was sent from both a timeless and real life place. Ruthie, thank you so very much. You are an earth angel. Let me bring everyone else up to speed. Ruth, I hope that you don’t mind, I just can’t help myself. We were super close high school friends. Sophomore year, I remember taking the train to Long Island. You had a letter from a boy who had penned the words from Elton John’s, “Your Song”, to you. That was the year it was released. I thought it was the most romantic gesture my mind could ever imagine. Actually, I still think that it was a very cool thing to do. Years pass, marriage, careers, moves, kids, achievements, losses, traumas and joy filled celebrations certainly have occurred. Yet, we could still take a train ride, comfortable and close, sharing our lives. The disaster of a flood brought our lives closer once again. Since those high school years, many more earth angels have graced my life, showing me light and hope during my darkest hours. Miracles.....
I hold on to every loving intention with every ounce of my being. Although, I feel my light coming back, this is hard. If you have said, “ I can’t imagine what you are going through.”, I couldn’t either, even after Katrina and the 1995 flood. At this moment, I am swimming in an ocean of unknowns. I can see the sun rise, but not the shore line. Money pressures, building challenges, loss of precious belongings, health insurance, one car.....and of course holidays. We have never been driven to give gifts, perhaps a few artistic creations. I created a land of sparkle where we would spend time and have meals together. We also gave some wonderful parties. The memories are golden. Some tears have helped me feel the many blessings from those times. I will reinvent the holiday for 2017. My goal is to commemorate this time, not escape into just calling it another day. That little girl in me would be devastated.
Slowly, I am tiptoeing out of the zone of survival into moments of really living. As always, faith not fear, love not trauma. This is me, surviving trauma surrounded by angels.
